Last week was OK. Didn't enjoy it as much as I used to when I traveled. Kept waiting for the phone to ring or rather, kept wishing the phone would ring. Away from family and doggies I'm rather at a loss for feeling comfy. Not sure I'd be a good consultant.
Of course I had to call Danny every day sometimes two or three text messages. Don't want him to forget his momma! Called my hubby to say good night every night.
I had a dream with Mary in it last weekend. I woke up and remember every detail so I wouldn't forget it later. It wasn't about her but she was my companion on my adventure in the dream. Just like she was in years gone by. It's fading a little now. This is the 2nd dream in the last month. Don't remember it at all but I know I dreamed about her. I don't have many. I remember the one 6 -7 months ago oddly. And then there were one or two the year before. I want so badly to dream more about her. I talk to her just like she's sitting in front of me.
Sometimes, at odd moments, I get a vision of the crime scene and I cringe and all the horrible feelings come back. Last week I was telling someone about my children. Everyone always asks you "how many kids do you have" when you first meet them. I literally steeled myself to answer without crying because I knew I would. I talked very slowly and didn't dwell on details. I still can't talk past describing Mary without falling apart.
Still waiting to hear from Emory about Danny's antibodies. I will call tomorrow if they don't call me by the afternoon. Another person got a heart yesterday. No one on 1A with type A blood so another heart passed him by. Guess I'm just jealous. Makes me feel like I'm waiting on a side of beef. And, THAT makes me feel like trash.
This last weekend I did nothing. I didn't play in my art either. Just didn't have any incentive. Not sure why. Maybe I was just tired.
Still trying to figure out if I feel better now that the #*&^#% that killed Mary is behind bars. Not yet. Not yet. Don't know if it will ever be. He'll be out in two years and I'll be pissed again.