Monday, August 17, 2009

My Victim Impact Statement

If it were possible for you to comprehend the devastation you have brought upon my family, Mary’s friends, and the world with the reckless irresponsibility of your actions, you would not have driven while intoxicated in the first place. It was only a simple choice you had to make to do the right thing. And yet you chose to disregard the fact that you were not only breaking the law, you were choosing to put other people in danger, and taking the greatest risk of all of killing some. I wish you could have been present when the police utter the words no one ever wants to hear, “I’m sorry to inform you that….”.

You killed Mary, my child, my daughter, and I will never be whole again. I will never go to sleep without tears, I will never wake up without heart ache, I will never again enjoy life as it could have been. I am constantly haunted by the vision of you in your truck crushing the life out of my daughter. Her terrorized face, her screams of realization that her life is over, pierce through my conciseness all day long. This vision prevents me from ever again having peace in my life. I have never seen a picture of her car because I believe it would kill me as well. I see her standing in the door ways at home, walking down the hall, cooking in the kitchen only to realize with an overwhelming physical pain in my chest that she is gone from this earth forever. I have sought the counsel of friends and professionals to try to keep the pain from making me unable to function. I WANT HER BACK.

Yes, she is beside me in spirit, holding my hand, telling me as she always did that everything will be ok. But, I want her back in reality. I want to hear her laugh, see her smile that big, bright, beautiful Mary smile. I want to feel her touch, her hug around my shoulders. I WANT HER BACK.

Mary was, Mary is, the most wonderfully beautiful soul that has ever walked the earth. She gave all of her self to her family and friends and even strangers when she could. I could go on and on for hours, even years describing her but I don’t think you would understand. I WANT HER BACK.

Mary’s brother, Danny, has a heart transplant and now needs another heart. If he needed a different organ she would have been the first to offer hers. Because of the violence of the crash in which you took her life, she was unable to donate ANY piece of herself to help others. If she had died in another manner, she might have been able to save not only Danny’s life, but many, many others. So, you took not only her life, but other lives as well. I cannot describe what living without Mary has done to her sister, Julie, and her father, Kerry, and Danny. Our family used to be whole, now we have only an emptiness to hold on to. Your thoughtless disregard of human life changed forever the world we live in. I hope that every single day you walk this earth you will carry a reminder what you did, some thorn in your side to never let you forget. I WANT HER BACK.

Tony and Mary were to be married on June 20th, 2009. On that day we gathered at their home, then empty because Tony couldn’t live there without her. They were married in our hearts and will remain so forever. You have taken the future from me, a wondrous wedding day, beautiful grand children, a life without Mary, but you can never take the memories. That’s all I have left. You alone could have prevented her death. I WANT HER BACK.

You will never be able to make amends, restitution, or give me back my Mary. I can never get even with you, for I would NOT do what you did to you or your child and cause the ceaseless pain I suffer to you, your mother, or your family. I will never ever forgive you. You have committed the most unforgivable sin against a parent. So, close your eyes and imagine one of your children taken from you in the same manner you took Mary. Now, live with that vision forever and you may, if you have a soul, come a little closer to the pain I carry every day of my life. I WANT HER BACK.

Judge, please sentence this man to the fullest extent of the law. Yes, I wish he had died in the crash too. Yes, I want him in prison for life. And, yes, part of me still wants him dead. But I know Mary would not want his family to suffer as we do. Make him an example to others so hopefully they will understand that there are consequences to actions. If any good comes of his actions, and I’m not sure there can be, maybe it will be that others, seeing his life in prison and the pain he has caused, will not make the same irresponsible, uncaring, choice he made. Require him to do community service for the rest of his life, in helping others he may realize the value of life. Take away his license to drive any vehicle forever as a reminder that driving is a privilege not a right.

As you can see, Mary is still in my heart, helping me do the right thing, even with the hate and urge for vengeance I feel. She is and always will be, my rock.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Rose! Great job! I know it only barely touches on the depth of your pain and emotions!
    Love you!