a monday

Yesterday morning started out pretty good while I was getting into the truck. Then I started playing some songs. One in particular Mary told me she liked – it reminded her of her and Tony together. I have this habit of playing songs over and over so I can sing with them. So, half way to work it finally got to me there would be no more “them” in the physical realm. Thank god for sun glasses. The rest of the day was blah after that.

Went to the Emory heart support group and out for pizza.

Can’t decide what I’m going to do next Monday. I want to be in the court room but I’m not sure if I want to see his face. Looking at someone or knowing their name makes the link more personal and I DO NOT want to think of him as a person. He is and always will be a monster to me.

Baby steps, I have to take baby steps and hold on to my friends.

I wish I could just take an entire day and write all day long. Just write and write and write and write……

I sent this to danny awhile back. Now Mary's sending it to me.

I AM BESIDE YOU IN WONDER
I AM BEHIND YOU IN LIFE
I AM ABOVE YOU IN FEAR
I AM BELOW YOU IN HARM
I AM IN FRONT OF YOU IN PAIN
I AM AROUND YOU IN LOVE
I AM ALWAYS NEAR

Definitions of endurance:

• noun: the power to withstand
  hardship or stress

Example: "The marathon tests a runner's endurance"

• noun: a state of surviving
  ; remaining alive