Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Poetry is not an opinion expressed.  It is a song that arises from a bleeding heart or a smiling mouth.
Kahlil Gibran

Today is better. Questions answered.

Why do I cry at everyone else's pain?  I can't watch a tv show (not the reality ones) without crying if it's sad.  I try to only watch the ones that aren't sad but every now and then one episode gets me.  I cry when an ambulance drives by flashing its lights and blaring its bells.  I have no idea if anyone is in it but I cry anyway.  Rather embarrassing if I'm with someone.  I cry when I listen to the news on the radio - usually driving to work.  I had to stop listening because my mascara would be streaked down my face when I got to work.  Looking at ads in magazines of children with clef palates they put in the back pages is a no-no.  I quit listening to the news on TV and the ads too.  Everywhere we are bombarded with the horror and cruelty and "accidents" of life.  Now, you say there is just as much joy in life as sadness but where is it?  I see it but not near as much as pain and suffering.  

I'm just tired of it all.  Tired of trying to find my place in this world.  Tired of pain.  Tired of not being able to fix anything.  Tired of complaining about being tired. I don't want to prepare for the future.  I don't want to have any idea of what's going to happen.  I just want to be.  Ah,"to be or not to be, that is the question".   I wonder if he was feeling the same way I'm feeling.

Come back tomorrow and see if I feel the same as today.  Probably not but that's what chaos is made of.  Ignorance.

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