Cards

OK. So I've had a day to think about the card.  I did not burst into tears when I heard her voice.   She said "ooooooo.  Can you hear me?  Happy Birthday!"  Kind of drawn out.  I can see her saying it with that grin on her face.  

The last thing Mary said to me was "love you bye" on Sunday night when she got into Danny's truck to go home.  I waved bye to her as Taco was jumping in her lap while Danny was backing out of the driveway.  I never called her cell phone to hear her voice.  We turned off the answering machine at her house the first time we went there.  I never called it either.  It hurt too much to even think about hearing her voice again.  Then this happened.

I didn't cry, really.  Just sat there and hugged the card.  But, when I showed the card to Danny and Kerry and Julie (all separately), I did squeeze some tears out.  I tried to hold them back but couldn't.  I opened the card a few more times.  She sounds so happy and unaware.

Danny smiled and played it twice.  Kerry stuck his lip out in a pout.  Julie hid her eyes while I left the room.  The card is on my dresser.  Before going to bed Kerry played the card two more times.

I don't need to play it, I can hear it in my head as a perpetual loop recording.  I wish it wasn't a recording.  I hope the battery never runs down.