Some how I have to figure out how to keep going. And oddly enough I think the TV show NCIS character Gibbs is helping. He lost his wife and daughter - murdered. He got his revenge but this is a character, after all, and I can dream. The more I watch the shows the more of his background comes out and shows little things he says and does that is his way to keeping his family alive. He keeps things, like his daughters lunch box, so he can bring it out once in a while. He is very direct, serious, matter of fact, and anti computer. But extremely loyal and dedicated. I also like the "In Plain Sight" character Mary. Very, very non politically correct in her conversations and accusations.
So, this week was not that great. A guy who had been waiting for a heart at Emory didn't make it. Each time I meet, get to know, and find out they're gone, someone on the transplant list, it hurts. Hurts like hell. For two reasons now. I know how the family feels, and I'm afraid for Danny. I never tell him about these things. He didn't know him. Then a lady everybody in the transplant community knew, died in her sleep. Oh, my oh my oh my.
I realized last night that I am still very irritated that the ME didn't seem to do very much about trying to have Mary be a donor. He wasn't very responsive to our phone calls even it if was in the middle of the night. That's his job. 24 / 7. You can't imagine how much it hurts or what I would give to have something of Mary walking this earth. She would have been so happy to have helped as many people as possible. Not with organs maybe, but with the other 40 something tissues that could have been used. I realize she was hurt really bad. But he could have actually talked to us.