If I die young...

I finally figured out why I can't or don't want to make Mary's purses.  It's because she's not here to help me.  We made them together or rather I would help her when she was here.  I never did it alone.  I can't bare to even think of the memories of us working downstairs.  The one thing I can do is crochet hats like Mary's.  I guess because there are no memories.  I'm just trying to copy the ones Danny has.  I've almost got it down.  Takes a few hours though.

Watching the "Christmas" special shows on the Hallmark station are getting a little old.  Once I figured out that people don't really change all that much when life events happen, the stories all seem a little, well, empty.  Every story is about some person who has nothing who teaches some other person who has too much what love means.  Or vice versa. People just aren't that naive.  They are either mostly good or mostly evil. Maybe I'm getting too cynical.  Or maybe it just hurts too much.  When everyone is asleep and all is quiet, the smile fades, the tears form, the sadness comes, and my heart never stops hurting.

I heard this song on my way to work last Friday.  I cried the rest of the way.  This is for us both, Christine....


"If I Die Young"  by the Band Perry

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town says he'll, love my forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls