Saturday, December 25, 2010

It's Christmas - whoopee...

Yep, it's Christmas.  I did fairly well buying gifts.  I even crocheted a few hats and neck warmers.  I didn't spend too much but more than I would have with Mary.  We had so much fun Christmas of 2008 (I will not say it was THE last christmas) making presents for each other.  I took lots of pictures I had of the kids when they were little (with Tony too) and put them in frames.  Mary found time somehow to sew and crochet. We were more excited to find out what the other person had come up with than opening the presents.

People say "Oh, thank goodness it didn't happen on a holiday.  It would have made that holiday sad every year".  Well, I'm hear to tell you that it doesn't matter what day of the year death happens.  Every day after that is sad no matter what.  Doesn't maker it sadder or better based on any event.  Even though I always comment that their wedding day was only 2 months away, it could have been the next day or on that day and it wouldn't have hurt any less.

I hung Mary's stocking between all of ours.  This time I didn't put any candy in it.  I'd just eat it and get fat.  We have about 30 stockings - Ann makes new ones each year for the kids.  I have the ones she made for my kids way back when.  Sometimes I can't decide which to use.  But the ones we have been used to for the last few years are sort of a match set for the three of them.  Got them at Ann's house when they were teenagers. Kerry's was the same green one he's used forever and I changed mine to something new.  Won't do that next year.  Danny couldn't figure out which one was mine so my presents from Santa were on the hearth.  boo hoo.

Funny how a little thing like stockings makes or breaks your morning.  I didn't have the umph to even make the sweet rolls.  We were supposed to go to Carol's this year.  Didn't make it last year.  She loves Christmas as much as Mary.  But the ice and snow stopped us.  So I sat in my jammies and watched everyone open their gifts and kept Mary's stocking in view.  The kids came in the afternoon and we had presents all over again.

I burned a lot of candles.  Had 18 going at one time.  Mary's candle is starting to crack so I have to watch that.  Sitting in the candle light is comforting a little.

What's different between this year and last?  I don't know exactly.  Resignation maybe?  Just sort of walked around like a zombie at times.  Saved the tears for night time.  That's not any different.

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