Saturday, December 26, 2009


What’s there to say about Christmas?  Just another day.  One of many in the long road ahead.  Last year Mary and I got so excited about Christmas because we promised each other that we would not spend any money.  We would make everything or spend very, very little.  I printed out pictures from years past and put them in frames for everyone.  Mary crocheted hats, gloves, scarves, and made other things.  I made her a clock from an old 1950’s gardening book.  We had such fun opening presents. 

Tony said Christmas was Mary’s favorite time of the year.  She would leave their Christmas tree up for several months because she worked so much she didn’t get to enjoy it long enough each day. 

I only got stockings down from the attic this year.  No decorations, no lights, nothing.  Well, wrapping paper, but that’s all.  The box with Mary’s decorations was sitting front and center of all my boxes.  I couldn’t get past it.  So this year we bought almost the last tree at Walmart (for half price) and the kids decorated it with paper cut outs, Christmas cards, and just stuff.  I plan to leave it up for a long, long time.

I hung stockings for everyone including Mary.  We put a little candy in each.  Mary’s favorite in hers.  None of the stockings are the same ones we’ve used for the last 10 years.  These are random ones I’ve collected to use as decorations.  Only Mary’s means something.  It is one from around 5th grade that Ann made.  Julie, Mary, and I had matching stockings made from a gingham dress I had as a teenager.

The kids left at 2pm to go to their dad’s.  After that, the dull quiet sadness settled in and we sat and watched the wall in between TV shows.  I had cooked a turkey and roast dinner the day before so we ate leftovers.

Kerry has been out of work since 12/11.  His right knee and leg in general is causing pain and torture.  Once again, nothing I can do to ease the pain.  Not that I could have done something last year but I might have felt less fatalistic about the uncontrollables in life.  He would certainly have been less depressed about life in general. 

At least the kids had a good Christmas.

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