Friday, December 11, 2009

What is remorse?

So, now I’ve heard for the 3rd time that the person, entity, monster, that killed Mary was very remorseful when he got sober enough to figure out what he did.  Big, freakin’ deal.  I wrote in my victim impact statement that I wanted him dead.  Does that make me as evil a person as he is?  Is he evil?  Did he just make a “mistake” as I’m sure the defense will try to say he did?  If he were to kill himself because of the remorse he feels would I fell bad and regret my feelings of hatred and anger toward another human being?   Seeing him as a monster and not a person make hating easier.  That’s why lawyers always try to juries see their clients as everyday people with similar lives, problems, dreams, etc. 

Ok, so he’s sorry for what he did.  What’s he going to do about it now?  What can he do?  Nothing that will make any difference to me but he could spend the rest of his life, his time and energy, every waking moment in the service of others - keeping nothing for himself and getting nothing in return.  This should be his “life changing event” but some how I don’t’ think it is.  People think that being “sorry” should be enough.  That they have a right to get on with their lives after they have admitted their wrong doing.  Then why, in days of yore, when you wronged someone you owed them the equivalent of your initial action (his life in this case) until you could pay the person back in like manner.  Or, if they saved your life, you were in service to them until they let you go. 

Well, Mary saved his butt big time.  He would have driving right off the side of the mountain that night if she had not been in the wrong place at the wrong time.  So, he owes her his life.  And spending a minimal amount of years in jail is not repayment even if the courts say he has paid his debt to society.  He hasn’t. 

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