I want, I want

Why do I always have to be the responsible one.  Why can’t I just go away and not have to worry about anything.  Just sit in the sun with my eyes closed so I don’t have to know about anything that’s going on around me.  I want to just veg out and exist without any attachments.  Like the Paul Simon song says “I am a rock, I am an island”.  If nobody touches me I won’t get hurt.

My friend is leaving Atlanta.  She is getting away from everything, starting new.  She’s tired of the feelings that come with remembering Mary and what happened to her.  I don’t blame her.  I do it in a minute if it were possible.  Just for a little while. Just to regain some strength, some will, some want to keep going.  To want to do things is a lot different than to have to do things.   I want someone to take care of me for awhile.  I used to tell Mary that every so often.  She said she would and I knew that was true.

I just need a refresher course in living.

I really need to get back to writing every day.  It does help release the tension.