is there a god?

Is there a god?  If so, is he (she, it, they...) vengeful?  Because sometimes I get the feeling he’s getting even with me for past character deficiencies.  Not that I don’t have a few now, but there were more in years past when I thought I had everything I ever wanted.  Is there such a thing as Karma, Kismet, destiny?  If so, then life sucks.  It seems that we are in control of other people’s lives more than our own.  We can only control our outlook on life.  If you don’t like it, you’re a pessimist , if you accept it, you’re an optimist.  Notice I didn’t say if you “like” what’s happening in your life. 

If bad things do happen to good people, then why shouldn’t it happen to me and mine?  So far, all the “bad” things in my life have not been caused by our actions.  Well, all but one, but we won’t go into that here.  My kids didn’t do anything to cause the thorns in their sides.  And only Mary’s was caused by someone who could have made a better choice.  Why do some people go their whole life with everything going their way and others get kicked in the butt on their way through the birth canal?  There really can’t be someone “up there” deciding who gets what.  If we are all equal then it’s just a roll of the die.

These are all questions that everyone asks themselves all the time.  Well, most everyone.  I have to remember not to make generalizations anymore.  I used to think what I considered life changing events would wake people up to what’s important in life.  But, for the second time, I was shot down (hit me once shame on you, hit me twice, shame on me).  I found out that some people who get a life saving transplant do not want to be organ donors.  They probably wouldn’t have been one before their transplant so why would I expect them to be one afterward?  Oh, I don’t know, paying forward maybe?  If that event doesn’t change your way of thinking, nothing will.  Maybe I’m naïve, maybe I’m stupid to think this way.  Maybe people are inherently born to think one way and nothing in the world that happens to them is going to change it no matter how many events like the movie “It’s a wonderful life” happens to them.  In that case, is there a destiny?

My head is spinning.....