Thursday, November 12, 2009


I believe I have the mostly amazingly patient son ever born.  He puts up with my nagging about taking his pills and getting his blood tests done with a smile after each word.  Then he does what he wants on his own time!  When you look up the word patience in the dictionary, you see a picture of Danny. 
I wanted to say something else today but I can’t for the life of me think of what it was.  I’m always reciting long winded speeches in my head while I’m driving, sitting around, painting, or even watching TV.  Many of them are directed at “that man”.  Many are aimed at other possible/probable drunk drivers in an effort to warn them and hope they have enough conscience to understand the pain they might cause.  Unfortunately, most can’t see beyond the end of their noses which is why the do what they do.  Other times I’m merely ranting to myself about how much I miss Mary and all the things we should be doing together.  Then there are the poems and songs I compose.  I usually forget the words minutes after I say them.  I’ve even tried to record them.  But driving and recording goes together about as well as driving and crying.  Should have a sign posted that says “if you are not a professional, don’t try this in the car”......

Sometimes the things I think in my head I can only say in a poem.


Regrets Regrets
Feels just like sand upon my teeth
Regrets Regrets
Or like pins on the cushions of my feet
Every single time I said good bye
Whether on the phone or staring in her eyes
I said “I love you”,  I said “I love you”
My regrets are for what could have been
Not for what I should have done and when
Time cannot heal …….what isn’t said
Regrets Regrets
They are the mud upon my shoes
Regrets Regrets
They are the sadness in the news
Some would say that I’m the lucky one
Luck is only for when you’re having fun
This pain is real……it will not fade
Every single time I said good bye
I said “I love you’…..

1 comment:

  1. So good to see you pour your pain out here. I know you miss Mary. Since my son Daniel's death, writing has helped me. You posted on my blog a while ago, and I wanted to email you, but can't find your address. Please email me at


    Alice J. Wisler