Regrets

I believe I have the mostly amazingly patient son ever born.  He puts up with my nagging about taking his pills and getting his blood tests done with a smile after each word.  Then he does what he wants on his own time!  When you look up the word patience in the dictionary, you see a picture of Danny. 

 

I wanted to say something else today but I can’t for the life of me think of what it was.  I’m always reciting long winded speeches in my head while I’m driving, sitting around, painting, or even watching TV.  Many of them are directed at “that man”.  Many are aimed at other possible/probable drunk drivers in an effort to warn them and hope they have enough conscience to understand the pain they might cause.  Unfortunately, most can’t see beyond the end of their noses which is why the do what they do.  Other times I’m merely ranting to myself about how much I miss Mary and all the things we should be doing together.  Then there are the poems and songs I compose.  I usually forget the words minutes after I say them.  I’ve even tried to record them.  But driving and recording goes together about as well as driving and crying.  Should have a sign posted that says “if you are not a professional, don’t try this in the car”......

Sometimes the things I think in my head I can only say in a poem.

Regrets 

Regrets Regrets

Feels just like sand upon my teeth

Regrets Regrets

Or like pins on the cushions of my feet

 

Every single time I said good bye

Whether on the phone or staring in her eyes

I said “I love you”,  I said “I love you”

 

My regrets are for what could have been

Not for what I should have done and when

Time cannot heal …….what isn’t said

 

Regrets Regrets

They are the mud upon my shoes

Regrets Regrets

They are the sadness in the news

 

Some would say that I’m the lucky one

Luck is only for when you’re having fun

This pain is real……it will not fade

 

Every single time I said good bye

I said “I love you’…..