Tomorrow and today

6/19
Gotta get ready to spend time with Danny at Emory.  So why and I sitting here typing?  What I need is an energy pill.  My body keeps getting tired when my mind wants to go on.

So, now it's Sunday 6/26.  Danny's been here a week and has had two treatments and has two more to go.  One tomorrow and one on Thursday.  His antibodies are so high now the chance of matching someone is very slim.  The plasma pheresis will remove the antibodies and the meds hopefully will keep them away - somehow -. Hopefully.  Not sure how long they can be kept at bay.  He may have to keep getting them long after he has a transplant.

Found out these meds are cancer meds that also help with reducing anti bodies.  So, he's having some side effects that make him uncomfortable but aren't going to stop the treatments.  They said he might feel like he's got the flu.  He told a friend, "It's all good.  This too shall pass."  

He can't eat much without stomach cramps.  Hope he doesn't loose too much weight.

I've been having a lot of "what if's".  I keep trying to push them away but it isn't working very well.  I wish Danny could go up to the lake in Alaska for a few weeks. But that would take him off the active list and he might miss his chance.  However, he might not have another chance to go to the lake.  Damned if you do and damned if you don't.  What to do, what to do, what to do?  So much I would have done differently if we had known he would be on the list this long.

Sometimes I sit and think and sometimes I sit and cry.  Not sure which helps.  Thinking hurts and crying makes my nose red.

Just want it all to stop for his sake.  I want it finished and over with and to see him fishing at the lake with buds.