Happy Birthday Danny!

H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y!

You were 27 years old today at at around 4pm born on a Tuesday.  Some things a mother never forgets.  I can remember going to the doctor's office on Monday afternoon by myself because your dad was in bed with something, a stomach virus, the flu, something. But whatever it was he got over it and showed up at the doctors office after I waited several hours in the "waiting" room for him to wake up.  I had to call my neighbor to go over and find him because he wasn't answering the phone. No, he was laying in bed, wishing I was there to take care of him, while I was wishing the same thing from him.  But he finally picked me up before the doctor's office kicked me out.  I guess I could have called a cab but I didn't want to have you born in a cab, in our car, fine, not in a cab.

So, I spent the rest of Monday hooked up to wires and cords waiting for you to come out.  But come out, you did not.  No, you just laid in my tummy making little contractions just often enough for me NOT to be sent home but enough to irritate me.  I was starving (can't eat lest you did pop out) while I smelled the pizza the nurses were eating.  I was drooling as I watched them walk past my door but they couldn't be bribed.  I watched the monitor  mark my contractions way up on the scale but really didn't feel much pain.  I had an eerie feeling they'd be sending me home in the morning and I did not want to go home.  These contractions had been bothering me since Saturday and I was damn tired of them.  I knew you were 3 weeks from your due date but I'd also been having contractions for the last 6 weeks and I was TIRED.  Maybe the doctor was wrong about the dates. Maybe I was just impatient.  I had been known to be that in the past.

I woke up Tuesday morning with NO contractions, nada, zilch.  Rats.  Great.....  But, I was starting to dilate a little and your heart rate was slower than normal they thought so they decided to keep me.  They gave me some meds to increase the contractions.  And increase they did, one on top of another but...... no real pain.  I thought this fairly interesting.  I kept asking if the anesthesiologist was around just incase the pain got worse.  They kept saying, "yeah, sure, right upstairs".  Then they decided to attach an electrode to your head to follow your heart beat. Again, rather archaic in today's standards.  Unfortunately it showed your heart rate at 78 and started quite a commotion until I reminded them that I had a pacemaker.  At noon they wanted to move things along and some bright doctor broke my water. All hell broke loose. OMG!!!!!!!  Pain like I never felt before.  Where was that anesthesiologist?  I yelled, I screamed, I bite your dad's hand, I begged for the pain meds.  But nnnooooooooo - by the time they found the anesthesiologist, I was too dilated.  (Now, 20 years in the future, you are NEVER too dilated - wish they had known that back then). Your poor dad was standing there trying to gently remove my teeth from his hand asking if there was SOMETHING they could give me.  Again, nnnoooooo.  I told the nurse I had to use the bathroom.  She looked and said, "No - that was you popping out".   I said, "I don't care what it is, I'm going".  She said, "NO you're not", and slapped me.  Well!  In my state of mind it probably seemed a lot more dramatic than it was but it did get my attention.  I was told to stop pushing.  Try telling a drowning man to stop swimming.  No such luck.  My doctor was not at the hospital and I was not going to wait for him.

Your dad jumped into the hospital gown, mask, and shoe covers (today you can come from the beach wearing a bikini and watch a baby being born) just as they rolled me into the delivery room.   One, two, three and you were out just as the intern sat down in front of me.  No waiting, no coaxing, just push, scream, and POP!  I heaved a sign of relief and THEN they gave me some sleepy time meds.  My first sight of you was in your dad's arms.  They wouldn't let me hold you because I was so groggy I couldn't raise my arms.  Which is probably why my recollection of you is with a full head of bright red hair.  Actually you were as bald as grandpa was.  Just like your sisters.  But it did cause a problem for me several hours later when they brought you in my room so I could feed you.  I looked in the crib and said "that is not my baby".  Daddy said, "yes, it is".  It took a few minutes for them to convince me that, yes, that was you.  Your grandma had red hair, but you definitely did not.  I did watch you closely for the next few weeks to see if someone dyed your hair (or what there was of it) and it would grow out red.

We stayed until Friday.  Now days they kick you out after two days.  I have to admit that not having any anesthesia did get me back onto my feet a lot faster than with the girls. But I still sat around for a few days and let your dad wait on me hand and foot.  Friday came and they said you needed to stay awhile longer.  Your temperature was lower than normal and they wanted to watch you for awhile longer. Watch you what? Sleep? Now, how does a mother who just gave birth go home and leave her baby at the hospital?  Not very happily.  (I won't go into the heartbreak situations that could occur here.)   I did NOT want to leave empty handed.  I laid out your little outfit on the bed I had ready so the doctor could see it and maybe feel guilty enough to let me take you home.  But, it didn't work.  We went home without you.  But only for 6 hours.  So, maybe it worked a little.  We got home (without you) and Julie met us at the door.  I knelt down, spread my arms, said "sweetie.....", and she ran right past me looking for you.  She didn't even see me.  She started crying when daddy told her we had to leave you, I started crying because she didn't want me, and Mary started crying because she was left standing at the top of the stairs unable to climb over the gate.  What noise!   

But 6 hours later all were well and happy!  They told me to keep you wrapped up tight and warm, hat, mittens, blankets.  It may have been October but it was NOT cold out. We had the attic fan on and you were under lots of covers.

Your childhood has not been that of the average child.  Your twenties has seen more downs that ups and you've spent most of it sitting waiting for a heart when you should have been out and about.  But mostly you have been living every single second to the fullest you possibly can.  I admire you for the qualities I don't have - patience, wisdom past your years, and the ability to see truth where it hides.  You are my little boy blue, my friend, my mentor and my guide.

I love you more....
Momma xoxo

Julie's Tattoo

Julie got the tattoo she's been wanting.  The initials are for Mary Couey Demarco and the NMW is the family saying we've always had....no matter what you say for the rest of the day......
I didn't think she do it.  Watching needles stick her are not her forte.  I think it's beautiful.  One day I may get a butterfly on my shoulder or ankle or some place that doesn't hurt.  Pain is not my forte.
Michele and I had our first drawing and painting class last week. Drawing is not my forte either.  I just want to splash color on a canvas and see what comes out.  But I guess you have to get the basics down to understand what you are capable of.  So, we're off again tomorrow night. 

Cindy LOVES her dance class and Gabe is going to start Karate tomorrow after school. Last week he was sick.  Wonder what Julie is going to start doing.  Kerry likes playing his poker on line.  Something to keep us all occupied and moving along the path.
Thursday is GTF's Art and Soul event.  Mary will have a table dedicated to her with pictures of her and Danny and lots of "Donate Life" information.

One of the web pages for Mary's scholarship and funds is up and running at UGA.  They are still working on the Computer Science area.  The link is on the right side of the blog.  The picture of her is beautiful!  I have it hanging in the living room on my wall.  

I have to find a gutter cleaning service to replace the gutters on the house and a pressure washing service to clean everything.  My friend Jason is coming over to help me design the back yard. 

This week is soooo busy I don't have time to think.  Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad, I don't know.  Maybe that just makes my "bucket" of grief fill up faster.  I just know when it gets full I explode.  But when I'm not busy it just leaks out all the time.  My poems are gone for awhile - nothing to say - but I love you Mary. 

Had a friend tell me yesterday that "life is for the living" and I needed to live for myself a little.  "Mary would want that".  Interesting how everyone knows what Mary's thinking but me and Tony.  Others have said the same thing.  He said if the situation was reversed, that's what I would tell Mary.  But it's not.  Mary's kindness kept me from saying what I really wanted to say.  Everyone tries to comfort me. It doesn't work, so don't try.  At least not yet.  I just need you to stand my me, not say anything, just be there.

Angels at Night

When I was little a friend and I would put our hands together, palms flat, up in the air, and then with our other hand we would rub the fingers of our hands, up and down.  With our eyes closed it was supposed to feel like a dead person’s hand or a mummy’s (like we knew which was which).  To young minds I supposed it did.  Why we would want to experience that sensation, I can’t remember, but we did.  It is definitely a strange feeling.  Your mind can’t quite grasp what you are feeling with your eyes closed.  Strange how your senses work together for your mind to understand what’s happening to you.  More on that subject later.

 

I’ve been looking through some older pictures of Mary and us and realized that because they are two dimensional and from time past, they don’t feel real anymore.  There is a vacant mummified shell surrounding them.  I guess because I know she’s not here.  We can’t all sit down and point and laugh at the old pictures like we used to and make comments about what, where, when, and why we were where we were (say that three times real fast).  When I see pictures of Julie and the kids there’s a warm fuzzy feeling and I bring them out and show them to everyone.  I take pictures of the kids while they are sleeping angels to remind me why I run around after them when they are awake.  I did that with my kids too. 

 

Each time I look at pictures of Mary my impressions change.  First I could look only at her at a young age, recent pictures hurt too much.  Then I wanted to see all I could of recent pictures of her face, life size, so I could stroke her cheek and hug her to me.  Then that hurt too much.  It kept going back and forth like that for several months.  I have pictures of her in my truck, kitchen, office, backpack, wallet, and bedroom.  Practically everywhere except the bathroom.  I liked the pictures of her with Tony more until I started seeing recent pictures of Tony by himself or with Nicole.  Nothing against Nicole but like she said, they would go places where couples were and then there was “Tony with his sister”.....Probably wasn’t fun for either of them.  But they stuck together like family does.

 

Like I said in my last post, all her pictures are frozen in time now.  I need some new ones, different ones, so I can feel the experience of newness again. 

Smiles

I thought I was going to have to tell you all that Mary’s tree washed away with in the storm this weekend.  Our shed did.  But, waking up this morning with the waters receding I saw some brush sticking up where her tree should have been standing tall.  Yes, yes, yes, it was her tree.  Now it is standing tall.  I made Julie get out of bed and drug her out on the back porch. This afternoon Danny lifted it up after more of the water left the banks.  It is beautiful!!  No leaves but they’ll grow back, bigger and stronger for the wear.  It made me smile this morning.  A real smile.

Butterfly Bridges

Butterfly Bridges (for Tony)

 

It found your soul, your spirit calm, and lit upon your hand

Gently waving gossamer wings in an effervescent stance

It tried to take flight but could not leave, the wonder in your eyes like glue

You held your breath at the awesome sight watching its every move

Till I reached out and made a bridge joining our finger tips

 

You smiled at me as it marched across, an emissary on call

Our heads did touch, our mouths agape, hearts silently enthralled

It turned to look into our eyes as if to question our amazement

We did not understand back then, we only had a hint

Love did start with the bridge we made joining our finger tips

 

The bridge of love, it is steadfast

Even when it sways, it lasts

 

So on our way we made our lives, close by but separately

The ups and downs gave way to life, a lacking potpourri

Then one day, alone and sad, we saw each others face

We found ourselves back on that bridge, the lure of a warm embrace

You found my heart so long ago, with the touch of a finger tip.

 

What’s in a touch that lets love pass

Between two souls, its joy so vast

 

Butterfly kisses and fingertip bridges

All for the love of my life.

Hold on to the emptiness

Mary has some awesome friends. They have turned into our family and are so integrated into our lives that it helps me to continue to breathe.

I recall probably the very first time her roommates ever talked to me. Mary called me in the middle of the morning one April day in 2004. I was working, concentrating so hard I didn’t realize at first that the person who was not talking on the other end of the phone was Mary. My heart froze as I also realized that she was crying and couldn’t talk. Finally after some coaching I figured out she was in pain with the stomach flu going around and couldn’t talk. I only heard sobs and little noises for yes and no. Now, any mother will know the feeling you get when one of your children is hurting and you are too far away to immediately hold them and take care of them (seems I’ve felt that in the recent past also.) When I understood the problem I asked for her roommates phone numbers. She needed medicine and I was going to find a way to get it to her. I called both roomies and left messages telling who I was and what I wanted them to do.

My greatest fear was that, not knowing my phone number on sight they might ignore my call. So, I called a few more times just to reinforce that someone needed help. I called Mary back and told her what I did. She told me to tell them to leave the medicine outside her door and to knock. She didn’t want them getting whatever she had. (Oh that was so Mary.) Later she called back to say she had gotten some medicine. I found out that I had caught one of them between classes and I had sounded so desperate that she went directly to the store and back to Mary.

I don’t remember which one of them answered my plea. But they did tell Mary that at first they couldn’t figure out who this crazy lady was leaving a message for them. I had forgotten to tell them who I was until the 3rd message. Alas, they heeded my call as only a friend can.


The statement below is what one of them wrote about Mary.


************

I was told that I should take comfort in my emptiness because that emptiness I was feeling was Mary. When two people connect like we did, she said, there is an exchange of energy, an energy that feels like a buzz in your head every time you see each other. And when something inexplicable happens to that friend, when that energy suffers, she said, what you’re feeling is a piece of you dying too. And that’s the energy that you desperately have to hold on to, because it’s all I have left of Mary. It’s all any of us have left of her, and it’s his fault. He upset the balance of the universe.

***********


Friends forever...


Hold on to the emptiness, it’s all that’s left
Reminders of everything that she ever touched
Memories of a life time packed into your heart
Dreams of the future erased, the pain is too much

Your souls connected when you first met
An energy inexplicable to those who don’t know
Her comforting friendship blanketed your soul
A friendship of a life time to you she bestowed

Hold on to the emptiness, even though it hurts
A piece of you is gone with her into the night
Together you’ll travel through space and time
Never ceasing to conquer what life has in sight

Hold on the emptiness, never let it go
The vacant solace of sighs will bring comfort in the void
Holding hands in your heart makes love unabated
It may one day regenerate the innocence that was destroyed

Hold on to the emptiness, she will help me to survive

Happy Birthday Rachael

Happy Birthday, Rachael.

I saw all your friends today gathered by your side
We raised our glasses and made a toast and told stories of your antics
I closed my eyes and pictured you smiling at all who came
And then I cried for what is lost, my life with you in it

Wishbones

Danny and Mary, from their beginnings, would pull the wishbone on every Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter turkey I'd cook. Even on a few non holiday birds. I think Mary won maybe 3 or 4 times. If you look at her face in this picture you can see she knows she's not going to win. Yet she always tried. You can also tell Danny looks like he's a lot more serious about it. But he always smiled and laughed when the bone snapped.

Toothpaste

When I was a little girl and would sit in the bathroom I'd get bored staring at the shower curtain. I was doing what every kid does, stretch out the time to keep from doing chores. So, I'd look for something to read and inevitably I'd find the toothpaste tube. Now days I keep a mini library in my bathrooms. After years of sitting there I realized that I had memorized the "quote from the dentist".... "Crest has been shown to be an effective decay preventive dentifrice that can be of significant value when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care."

It wasn't until years later that I learned this quote is on ALL toothpaste tubes. Wow, what a disappointment in Crest. I grew up with Crest toothpaste, Tide laundry detergent, Downy fabric softener, and Ivory soap. I don't use any of them now. It's amazing what you pick up from your parents only to discard when you get older and wiser - or maybe there's just a wider range of choices today.

Anyway, I digress. I told this toothpaste story to Julie and Mary when they were little. Tonight, Julie reminded me that she and Mary memorized that quote and made into a song. She can only recite it now if she sings it. Oh, my.... what did I do to my kids? I can close my eyes and see them sitting side by side happily singing the song they made just for me. Oh, my.... what did my kids do to me?

I remember as they grew taller, closer to my height, I would tell them that they weren't allowed to grow anymore. I wanted to keep them just they way they were, short and huggable. Well, only Julie remained shorter than me but all remained huggable. I've been wrestling with the idea that Mary will always be 28. She'll never grow older, never change. So, along with the laughs of times gone by comes the tears of reality. Guess I'm going to have to learn to laugh and cry at the same time. Once again, that's why I wear sunglasses inside.

My Victim Impact Statement

If it were possible for you to comprehend the devastation you have brought upon my family, Mary’s friends, and the world with the reckless irresponsibility of your actions, you would not have driven while intoxicated in the first place. It was only a simple choice you had to make to do the right thing. And yet you chose to disregard the fact that you were not only breaking the law, you were choosing to put other people in danger, and taking the greatest risk of all of killing some. I wish you could have been present when the police utter the words no one ever wants to hear, “I’m sorry to inform you that….”.

You killed Mary, my child, my daughter, and I will never be whole again. I will never go to sleep without tears, I will never wake up without heart ache, I will never again enjoy life as it could have been. I am constantly haunted by the vision of you in your truck crushing the life out of my daughter. Her terrorized face, her screams of realization that her life is over, pierce through my conciseness all day long. This vision prevents me from ever again having peace in my life. I have never seen a picture of her car because I believe it would kill me as well. I see her standing in the door ways at home, walking down the hall, cooking in the kitchen only to realize with an overwhelming physical pain in my chest that she is gone from this earth forever. I have sought the counsel of friends and professionals to try to keep the pain from making me unable to function. I WANT HER BACK.

Yes, she is beside me in spirit, holding my hand, telling me as she always did that everything will be ok. But, I want her back in reality. I want to hear her laugh, see her smile that big, bright, beautiful Mary smile. I want to feel her touch, her hug around my shoulders. I WANT HER BACK.

Mary was, Mary is, the most wonderfully beautiful soul that has ever walked the earth. She gave all of her self to her family and friends and even strangers when she could. I could go on and on for hours, even years describing her but I don’t think you would understand. I WANT HER BACK.

Mary’s brother, Danny, has a heart transplant and now needs another heart. If he needed a different organ she would have been the first to offer hers. Because of the violence of the crash in which you took her life, she was unable to donate ANY piece of herself to help others. If she had died in another manner, she might have been able to save not only Danny’s life, but many, many others. So, you took not only her life, but other lives as well. I cannot describe what living without Mary has done to her sister, Julie, and her father, Kerry, and Danny. Our family used to be whole, now we have only an emptiness to hold on to. Your thoughtless disregard of human life changed forever the world we live in. I hope that every single day you walk this earth you will carry a reminder what you did, some thorn in your side to never let you forget. I WANT HER BACK.

Tony and Mary were to be married on June 20^th, 2009. On that day we gathered at their home, then empty because Tony couldn’t live there without her. They were married in our hearts and will remain so forever. You have taken the future from me, a wondrous wedding day, beautiful grand children, a life without Mary, but you can never take the memories. That’s all I have left. You alone could have prevented her death. I WANT HER BACK.

You will never be able to make amends, restitution, or give me back my Mary. I can never get even with you, for I would NOT do what you did to you or your child and cause the ceaseless pain I suffer to you, your mother, or your family. I will never ever forgive you. You have committed the most unforgivable sin against a parent. So, close your eyes and imagine one of your children taken from you in the same manner you took Mary. Now, live with that vision forever and you may, if you have a soul, come a little closer to the pain I carry every day of my life. I WANT HER BACK.

Judge, please sentence this man to the fullest extent of the law. Yes, I wish he had died in the crash too. Yes, I want him in prison for life. And, yes, part of me still wants him dead. But I know Mary would not want his family to suffer as we do. Make him an example to others so hopefully they will understand that there are consequences to actions. If any good comes of his actions, and I’m not sure there can be, maybe it will be that others, seeing his life in prison and the pain he has caused, will not make the same irresponsible, uncaring, choice he made. Require him to do community service for the rest of his life, in helping others he may realize the value of life. Take away his license to drive any vehicle forever as a reminder that driving is a privilege not a right.

As you can see, Mary is still in my heart, helping me do the right thing, even with the hate and urge for vengeance I feel. She is and always will be, my rock.

From Mary's roomie...

AFTER A WHILE
by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

EMPTY

Mary and Friends


How to Survive on Empty

Strength is not something that is built in

It comes with the moments of life as

they spring upon you, as they slam into you with the full force of unexpectedness

Perseverance is much overrated

When you want to sit and be absorbed by memories,

odors, sensations long gone, it blindly stabs you in the back and twists the blade

Determination can be a two sided cloak

Like a pendulum the ups and downs of holding back

and moving on collide into walls that surround this prison of current existence

Courage is not what it’s cracked up to be

It hinders the need to grieve in the very fact that

without it the ability to breathe is constricted to the point of unconsciousness

Faith is as fleeting as the butterfly

It comes and goes, never to stay in one

place lest you forget that peace is not guaranteed, even for a moment

Endurance maybe the only path left

It’s the ability to walk, arms outstretched, down a dark,

endless road while waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel not to be another train

Appearances deceive we’ve all been taught

Surely this is a time when they need

to seem as far from real as possible to save those who can’t understand

Love is all that matters

It‘s the glue of life that is unquestionable, undeniable

incontrovertible, indisputable, irrefutable. It is the unequivocal truth

I am neither strong nor weak

I have merely transformed into the

person I have to be

to exist without you

Heart to Heart 2008

(Click on the picture to get a better view)

This is at the last "Heart to Heart" get together for heart transplant recipients of Emory and Egleston around Valentine's Day 2008. Mary went to every one that Danny went to. Danny only went because Mary would go. We all squished into Danny's little truck (mine now), Mary and I sitting on the fold out chair flaps behind Tony and Danny. The first H to H we ever went to there were probably 20 recipients and 25 staff. This time there was probably over 75 and a one man had his heart for over 18 years.

January 2nd this year when they called us to come down to Emory because they had a heart that looked like a good match, they called Mary and Tony's house first. Danny was up there for New Years and he had just gotten back home around midnight. She was SOOOOOOOOOOO excited. Emory called us and Neile told me she had just gotten off the phone with Mary. While Neile was talking to Danny I was gathering the video camera and other stuff thinking that Mary was getting ready too. A few minutes after Danny hung up, the phone rang again. It was Mary and she said, "Weeeeeeelllllll..... did they call you?" I said yes. She said, "Why didn't you call ME?". I told her I thought she already knew. She said, "But, I wanted to hear it from you. I knew you'd be SO excited."

Saying we were all "excited" doesn't quite mean excited in the way it normally does. Glad the wait is over, yes. Glad Danny will get his active life back, yes. But deep down, the knowledge that someone had died to give us this, pretty much puts a BIG damper on the excitement. All the way down to Emory little tears were rolling off my face. Danny put his arm around me because he knew what I was thinking. Unfortunately, the heart was not meant for Danny. Julie called Mary and caught her coming through Helen and told her to turn around.

Now, I only wish we could understand the feeling of giving life to someone else. That would have been the one and only thing in this world that might have made a difference that night. I tried so hard to talk the people in NC into taking something of Mary. Some little bit of her that would remain alive in this horribly dark world. They didn't have the heart (!) to tell me how badly injured she was until much later.

There will always be "if only's" from now on I'm sure. But this will be one of the hardest to completely accept. Danny getting a new heart was the 2nd most important event Mary was waiting for. Getting married was the first.

Time

Four months right now, and counting.

This is from 3 years ago at Chilkat Lake in Alaska where Tony proposed to Mary. She was taking one of her famous "arms length" snap shots.



TIME

Time heals? Time dulls? Time stops? Never
Rewind time into the blessed past

Time doesn’t wait. It keeps pushing and shoving
Swallowing you up as it goes along its way

Time doesn’t lie. It spits out the truth
And waits for no man to understand

And if time has the answers I sure wish it would slow down
So I can catch up and turn back its hands

Time doesn’t sing. It doesn’t make a noise.
Songs of forever are not on the menu for me

Time only keeps moving and moving
Giving me no place to go and no place to sleep

Why can’t it wait till I catch my breath
Wait till I find my love
I know she’s right here on the other side of its face

Mary's Plaque

This is the dedication of Mary's plaque from the people at Drake Software in Franklin, NC.


CARLA:

Aside from the new people here in the Development department all of us knew Mary Couey. For those of you that are new, Mary was a programmer in the federal group assigned to the 1120S package. Mary was killed by a drunk driver on March 31 after leaving the visitation for my brother’s funeral.

Those who knew Mary remember the person she was, and the soul she is. Mary embraced everything in life with a dazzling smile. She looked at life with complete enjoyment and the only thing that removed the smile from her face was the fear she felt for her brother. Mary was her brother’s champion in his fight for a second heart transplant. What most don’t know is that Mary was the only person allowed in the room after her brother’s first heart transplant that did not have to wear sterile gowns, masks or gloves. She affected him in no way. Mary and I shared concern for our brothers and cried together over our inability to change their worlds and lighten their loads.

That is how Mary was. She brought no ill towards anyone. She loved everything and everyone. She looked for new adventures and held close to old ones. She was in touch with nature and nurtured all life. Mary was easy to work with and was always doing more than what was expected in everything she touched. I find that I know Mary better and better every day. She remains in my mind with everything I do

I miss her greatly and wish there is some way that I could change the events that lead to her death. I know that is impossible and I know that my life is better for having known Mary. I wish that I could have had more time with her to deepen our friendship.”


NINA:

Several of us felt, and I’m sure you’ll agree, that it would be wrong to let our memory of Mary fade too much as time pushes us further away from the day we lost her. With that in mind, Drake Software has had a plaque made in her memory. This plaque will be hung in a central place in the Tax Development building.

The plaque itself features three pictures of Mary—two of her in the outdoors, which she loved. All three feature Mary’s remarkable smile. I think having the plaque there, in addition to brightening our days with her smile, can remind us of how precious life is, and how good it is that people like Mary could touch our lives—and how we can do the same for each other.

LORELEI:
Read from plaque -

Mary was a trusted co-worker, a good friend, and a gentle soul who touched our lives in so many ways. She will be missed and remembered eternally.

Some people pursue happiness; others create it. Mary created happiness wherever she went.

This is from Cindy...............

this is not mary but, what it is is a sample of what she was going to be,a bride. but before she could be wed she died on 3/31/2009.she was killed by a drunk driver.i don't know his name but, i do know it was a accident,a horrible accident.i don't know if he was sorry or not. all i know that my aunt is gone.......forever.No i will never,NEVER forget her. she is a beautiful young lady.she never lets an amazing opportunity down.NEVER!!!!!!!! everyone who knows her will never forget her. she was a cheerful little lady,always a kid in heart.her body died but her spirit lived in all of us whom have claimed to have known her. MY MOTHER SAYS:SHE WAS THE STICKY GLUISH STUFF,THAT HELPED PEOPLE, PLANTED FLOWERS,AND OF COURSE,NEVER,EVER GAVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!